closed

not him
bright
shiny
head
beckons
giant
smile
upon
his
face
teeth
glowing
teeth
he stands as I approach
gracious
awkward
sweet
we chat
we laugh
I give him a chance
chances
just by arriving
accepting the invite
and he hikes
he reads
he would always take care of me
always
he's no you
elusive
unreachable
unless
you
allow
yourself
to
be
reached
you allowed me in
I know
I'm privileged
amongst the few
but I can't get over
it's hard to get over
and so I end it
this
thank him for the drinks
turn down the walk to the car
drive away
escaping
to your closed arms
to my needy unreachable soul
praying for acceptance
and want
and love

Popular posts from this blog

well

I took the bricks down one by one and lay them side by side  when the ends touched I built up reaching towards the sky this well of light shines so bright  darkness amplified  I cry no tears  this fear I bear safe, on the inside 
Read more

half right

for many years I hid my true self never admitting that I was Native I passed for white and so I thought that’s on them if they don’t/can’t/won’t recognize me for me brown girl with blue eyes only trying to survive in a white man’s world I wouldn’t give myself to any of them so they drugged me and took what they could and then I ran and ran and ran and buried my pain they were half right I am half white but now I am stronger, wiser and I am Native, still here everyday I grow stronger, wiser and I get louder and louder about who I am and what you did to me you should be afraid you were half right but you are all wrong
Read more