Trisha Vicious

vast squishy soft without you I spread out sleeping sideways occasionally layer blankets adding warmth arrange pillows on your side and sometimes I look up thinking of you somewhere there or perhaps there never however here again beside

and suddenly I realized... the entire time you were here I was alone

you've left me and you've gone gone gone gone I didn't expect you to stay I wanted you to stay but this is better somehow someway

with the sun shining down on golden pigtails and lighting up dark brown eyes she sat on the edge of the sidewalk legs crossed rolling a daisy between chubby short fingers plucking the petals one by one by one I wish...

my love I think of you as spring's soft morning dew falling gently from the sky drifting through my life as a collected whole you shine and water my soul forming glistening bright lights as stars shine amongst the night at daybreak with the sun you fade one by one melting into me covering

dark like the night your skin glows before me beads of sweat reflect stars in the sky a kiss then we dance bodies moving in rhythm grass soft and wet lightning strikes down

you came to me in a dream dressed in your wedding suit and tie all black and white eyes locked with mine you knew that it was time I ran to your open arms we hugged excruciatingly tight then you let me go releasing me to the sky now I'm free to fly

blistering sun rises above, crunchy snow melts quickly underfoot dripping slipping dropping down down rolling below isolated forsaken I lay here this spot broken body hopeful soul hours drag a day goes by are there heavens above? a hell below? or is there just snow?

my parents good people salt of the earth some say dad shot twice in vietnam still with a bullet inside won't take a handout no veteran's benefits for him even though financially it would help mom works with disadvantaged children encouraging them to create a semblance of a life she dedicates her time assisting those in need for a small paycheck she's due more she does get more than money as dad does from refusing the VA pride the ability to stand tall look people in the eye knowing you contribute truly humble folk comfortable in their country house on the hill amongst the trees built with their own heads hearts hands now too large so I gave them blue dog he fills up empty spaces

until it all just ends smile laugh look at the homeless lady wearing the jean skirt over jeans standing in the middle of the street see the armless man in the workout gear entering the gym laugh cry I'm drinking a glass of shitty house wine at a chain restaurant you love meeting your friend from hawaii who's older but cute, smart, charming in my slouchy pants and running shoes hair unwashed for days white streak showing and the waiter holds my gaze a bit too long ryan pays for the meal I'm flushed but from the wine this is for all those who have been burned but gave love another chance I wonder if I've gone too far I wonder if you're near and I still haven't seen the lake

across the table he looked at me with quiet eyes in his dirty work pants and button up plaid shirt sawdust spilling from the crevices behind his glasses, those eyes inhaling beauty, exhaling questions a magnificent man troubled death had visited him early

I believe in love. I believe in people reaching deep down within their souls and marrying their hearts with one another. I believe in grace. I believe in humbly accepting all that is offered. I believe in appreciating beauty in all its forms and that beauty IS in the eye of the beholder. I believe in honesty and truth. I believe in imagination and that we are only limited by the limits we create. I believe in life after death and that our souls do live on yet it is up to our soul to believe in this continuation of life for it to actually exist. But mainly, most significantly, I believe in love.

bright lights burn my eyes and I keep glancing across there's a man at the bar does he keep looking at me or I at him?

kiss sweetly softness of your lips tongues colliding and we stayed just there lips touching mouths moving gentle hard soft enveloping your right arm wrapped around me left hand moving slowly that's all I needed your mouth upon mine your hand upon my thigh

not him bright shiny head beckons giant smile upon his face teeth glowing teeth he stands as I approach gracious awkward sweet we chat we laugh I give him a chance chances just by arriving accepting the invite and he hikes he reads he would always take care of me always he's no you elusive unreachable unless you allow yourself to be reached you allowed me in I know I'm privileged amongst the few but I can't get over it's hard to get over and so I end it this thank him for the drinks turn down the walk to the car drive away escaping to your closed arms to my needy unreachable soul praying for acceptance and want and love

seeing the piano covered, a shame he paused parking his suitcase and peeling back the cloth shell a few hours layover the airport hustle and bustle hummed sitting down to stroke the keys, all save one stopped to hear she walked by, her mind already wrapped within his music abrupty turning fifty feet down the hall, spotting a bench nearer him she walked purposefully their eyes met, souls crashing and he played for her each note hitting precisely upon her heart electrifying every nerve in her body caressing her soul when he finished the world came back into view she felt the weight of their story, upon her shoulders time passed, unknowingly and when she cared to look up, sending her gaze to him she found only an empty piano, covered and still

some memories are just too painful to revisit these I shall leave behind walk away from not look back some have left scars reminders time to time eventually even scars blend become unnoticeable overlooked pushed to the background and the focus becomes the person the beauty that is

will you make it here I saved a chair empty it sits across if you were there I'd reach out fingers running from shoulder down to tips of hands as they touched I'd inhale the warmth radiating from your heart

souls best discovered over time through layers although only here only now a last moment words escape action made you wrapped me in your arms and I stayed

long to run fields of green hills trees set me free

fell into you all of you over you so beautiful and twisted beautiful twisted into you all of you over you

news article stated red lips attract men I sat there across the table from you hoping my lips looked fire engine red bright

you've left me and you've gone gone gone gone I didn't expect you to stay I wanted you to stay but this is better somehow someway

tow headed boy not two feet tall walks with large cardboard tomato box atop tiny little head big dreams stashed inside future bright

the first man I ever loved you with the strong arms calloused hands made me laugh giggle safe danced with me sang for me made sure I wore my seat belt tight the first man I ever loved you my father dad